Wednesday, December 17, 2014

A little bit of the past

Today was the day.

It was the day I had been dreading for the past three months. No, not dreading, I was glad. I was happy. I knew this was the day that would end it. This day would define me. It would be a new beginning. A new chapter in my life.

Busy typing away at work was all I could do to keep myself from getting nervous. I watched the clock, watching for the hour to strike to leave. I kept busy. Calling for interviews, writing articles. Anything from stopping and thinking about what was about to happen.

Today, I was getting my divorce.

The decision did not come easy. A decade spent with this person. Friendship, attraction, then came dating and finally marriage. We had a long distance relationship for the first two years. The long trips back home, then the long flights. Visiting family. Work. School. Finally, we decided it was time.

The happy life that I worked hard for, was about to be over.

The court house seemed dark. Lonely. Everyday as a reporter, my job was to go in and make a quick left. That would get me to the deeds department, marriages and divorce records. Names of unknown people that I would write down and print in the newspaper. I always wondered why this type of information was made public. Why must a local newspaper  send someone to get the information and print them out.

But this time, I was making a right. I was heading to divorce court. I was nervous, afraid. I had no one with me to keep me company. I had no support, no family or friends. I felt ashamed. I worked hard. I wanted this to work. 

He didn't fight for me. He didn't try.

After a few hours of sitting in court, watching other cases of people getting divorced, others adopting children and others just trying to fight custody battles, I couldn't help but feel naked. Here I was, sitting and watching others go through a life changing event. It was an open book for everyone to see. Such a vulnerable time in people's lives. 

But my name never came up.

The last case was called and the judge was about to leave. 

Then he noticed me. I was all alone, standing in the isle. Despretly not wanting to be forgotten.

"I am sorry, I don't seem to have your case."

A few minutes later I got called. He had found it and I was indeed the last case. I raised my right hand and swore to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help me God.

"You are here to get a divorce is that correct," the judge stated.

"Yes, sir," I said.

And were was the husband, was his next question.

"Oh, never mind," he said.

He quickly saw that he had signed his rights away. He didn't want anything to do with this divorce. Whichever way the judge decided, he signed away any rights to anything.

The divorce proceedings lasted but a few minutes. 

Any kids? No.
Any debts? No.
Any property? No.

"Congratulations Ms. Acosta, your divorce has been granted," he stated with a smile on his face.

Once I  thanked him and I walked out of the court house, a feeling of relief came over me. I was free. The state of Texas said so.

Then it started to rain.

Was that the universe crying for a broken heart? The end of what should have been a "till death do us part?"

I felt numb. And that feeling didn't leave me for a very long time.

Even know, six years later. This day of celebration is met with uncertainty. Did he finally do what he said he would do if I left him? Would he ever do what he said he would do and spend the rest of his life making it up to me? Or is he happily married now with three kids? 

Unsettling questions have gone unanswered. I try to live life in the moment. But little things I see during the day sometimes bring back memories.

I see happy couples. I see coworkers married, with children and I wonder - what would life have been like had we stayed together? Would I have made a good mom? Would I have been able to follow my dreams had I been married?

A day does not go by where I don't think of him. I think of what went wrong. What could have been? Would I be here if I were still married?

It seems that as soon as my divorce was final, things in my life changed for the better.

After enrolling in journalism school, and becoming an editor at the university paper I soon after, become the editor and general manager of my own newspaper. I had finally accomplished what I wanted in life.

Today, six years later, I wish that I would stop remembering this day as if it were a birthday or a celebration. I wish I could just forget this day. But there are certain days you never forget. Your birthday, family birthdays and celebrations, other people's days and then there's yours: the day you get married and the day your marriage ends.



Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Change

I was watching some television this afternoon and fell asleep. Sitting up, music blaring from my earbuds, television on mute. Then I woke up. It took me a few seconds to realize I was not at school working, but in my bedroom watching the series finale of some food competirion show I never watched, but was pretty into five minutes into watching it.

Today was exhausting and really, I didn't do anything. Well, didn't do any teaching at all. The morning was spent at my testing duty station. I was outside the boys bathroom and my job was to keep them in order and no chaos erupt.

I spent most of it reading magazines and walking around. I had to be there from 9:46 to 11:46 - that was cray cray.

I was outside the teacher parking lot at 6:30 am this morning and thought, "what am I doing here so early?" I am a morning person, I enjoy the quiet, I do get a lot done. When I had to paginate the paper every Wednesday, I would be in the office by 4:30 am. Call me crazy, but that's when I got my best work done. I also liked to get there to make sure all was in order and would give me enough time in case something happened to the paper as I sent it to print. It happened from time to time, being at the office at 4:30 am, sending the paper to bed by 2 pm and by 6 pm, getting a phone call from press saying a page had to be redesign. I would drop what I was doing and jump into action by driving back to the office, fix the page and resend.

Those were crazy days.

But now, the newspaper are the lesson plans and the printing press are the kids.

I spent some time with my department chair numbering tests for the other teachers this morning. It was a nice time to actually talk and catch up. We are always busy and on the go, we don't ever have time to just talk.

Three more days of testing and we are off on break. Can't wait!


Monday, December 15, 2014

Electric youth

Today was fast paced. Some classes were really into the review, other classes not so much. Some wanted to work in groups, others individually. Whichever way they worked, they were always glad we went over the answers at the end of class of all the questions. I was surprised to see some took it as a competition. They would get the right answer and get up and cheer. I am glad for that.

During my conference, I headed to my favorite coffee place. I was craving a peppermint mocha. My favorite.

I do my usual walking down the office and wave hello to everyone. Even if they think I am weird, I stop by and share a few laughs. Usually if my boss is there, I stop and chat a bit. Today we had a good coffee conversation. He told me his coffee business plan and I think it's awesome. I was seriously excited for it myself and told him I would be one of the first customers in line. No kidding. That idea really got me thinking. Anyway, that would be cool.

My crazy day ended up with an observation. Some kids were sleeping, others wouldn't stay quiet and others we're just trying to "show off" as they told me the minute my department chair left. I was annoyed. I always tell them they come in to observer me and make sure I am doing a good job, and some laugh and say, "we know, ms." They give me that look, as in "we know so we want you to get in trouble." Needless to say, my mini lesson went OK, sort off. I knew some of them were not writing notes, some had no pencils and why wouldn't they? Everyday it's the same group in the last period that don't come prepared. It's that ongoing battle that happens everyday.

I left work soon after and went for some dinner. I took my time. I wondered what the server thought of me. "Is she ever going to leave?" I like to make them wonder sometimes.

Tomorrow will be a very tiresome day. We will be sitting down in our assigned sections and control the flow of kids coming in and out of the bathrooms during the testing periods. I will be prepared with my coffee, snacks and a good book or magazine to read. Until then, good night.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Human

I had planned to do the usual today, wake up go to my favorite coffee place and catch up on reading my favorite newspaper. I haven't picked up the paper in a while, been too tired and busy. But instead, I rolled over and slept some more. I woke up to the alarm of my phone going off. Not sure how long it had been going off, but I knew I was hungry.

I enjoy quiet mornings. The smell of coffee brewing. The aroma of that first cup of coffee brings warmth to my soul.

And not doing anything today has been indeed very relaxing. Want proof? I didn't even walk a mile today. I walked from my bed, to kitchen and back.


I have been reading this book. My very first newspaper editor gave me this book as a Christmas present. I remember being so happy. As I flipped through the pages, I found one of my business cards. So surreal. I didn't think I still had any left. I remember feeling so proud giving my card to people I interviewed. I first started writing the business beat and then became the main reporter for the Business Journal. I covered everything business. Back then, the valley was booming. There was so much growth because of the U.S. And Mexico trade. I don't know how many events I covered that included the governor. He was a familiar face. I even interviewed the future governor once. I find it weird and odd to now look back and see how many people I interviewed and how many events I was a part of. From interviewing Jordan Knight from NKOTB (insert girly scream) to the now governor, the future new governor and I was even five steps away (Yep, I counted) from Bill Gates at a press conference that was held.

All this feels like a lifetime ago.


Enough reminiscing, I should head to bed. One more day of teaching, then finals and two weeks off. Can't wait. 

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Change my mind

**I wrote this last night, when I couldn't sleep**

I left campus this morning during my conference period, crossed the street and headed over to this Mexican restaurant for some tacos. Well, people call them burritos and that's an argument I have had with them before to explain, but they don't get it. They are tacos, not burritos, but whatever.

As I crossed the street, there was this eerie silence. I could hear my footsteps, my breathing. No cars in site. It was a welcoming site and very ironic (wait, am I using this literary device correctly? It's late, not sure) because I work at a very noisy place filled with a bunch of teenagers.

Then I thought, wow, is this what my life has succumbed too? I am usually ok with my being alone and spending time in my head, because when you live alone and have no one, that's what you do. You have a lot of time to think and when you try to talk to people or text, they are usually too busy for you. Or when you are walking down the hall or go talk to someone and they look at you weird. Maybe I have forgotten how to make that human connection or maybe people are so used to not being alone, having someone talk to them from out of the blue is the weirdest think they have done that day?

** wow, is it bad I don't remember writing this? I do remember it was 1 am **

This morning I headed to work. We were all asked to go and plan for next semester. I didn't want to go, so tired. Both physically and emotionally. I understand that we have to make sure we teach what needs to be taught so the kiddos can pass the test, but all this planning and metrics and numbers and meetings, it's just stressing me out. I wish the English department had a day off after all this. Taken out on a field trip. We all get on a school bus and we are taken somewhere fun to play. I know we are responsible for the hundreds of kids that we take care off, but who's taking care of us? Everyone is so concerned about the kids and not the adults.

Today I was just annoyed, then stressed, then worried. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I stayed in my room for most of the four hours. I am just glad that we finished and left school early. I went to the store and bought woke geoceries. 

Tomorrow I shall enjoy the day off and not worry about anything.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

A thousand miles

Today is the first time in a while I come home without having to study. This feeling of needing to crack open the test manuals and worksheets lingered as I sat down to watch some tv.

Yesterday after I left the university testing site, all I wanted to do was cry. I prayed enough, studied enough and prepared enough. Now I have that very long wait, to see if I passed.

Today after work, I met with my boss to talk to him about the test and plan B. I told him I had to be realistic, I had to honestly look and discuss it. He was amazing. I know I am doing what's best for me and my future, but he's such an awesome boss, I don't want to let him go!

He reminds me of a boss I had when I worked at Dell. She was honest, fun, patient, there when you needed her. When something went wrong, she never went on the attack and jump to conclusions. No, she always talked to you, like a normal person and heard you out.

He does that all the time. I like his open door policy. I am sure there are times he would rather be answering emails, than talking to someone like me who just happened to stop by and say hello.

One of the biggest mistakes I ever made when I worked under her was shipping close to $10,000 worth of wrong service parts. There was a recall at the time and I sent parts to a big account, it may have been Brazil or maybe Colombia, and sent the parts in bulk. The problem was, I had sent the wrong part. When I realized my mistake, I knew I was getting fired for sure. I worried and nervously went to talk to her. After much research and fixing the mistake, she set me aside. With tears in my eyes, she hugged me and told me to learn from the mistake. She said it would be dumb to fire me and hire someone new. It would cost the company more time and energy to hire and retrain someone. She looked at me and told me to hold my head up and learn from the mistake. A very expensive mistake, but a mistake.

I credit her for everything I became at that company. To this day I still keep in touch with her.

One more week and then we are off for two weeks. Can't wait to see family and eat lots of good food and see great friends. So excited!!

From my secret bulldog!!


What I had for dinner:



Tuesday, December 09, 2014

Out of the woods

Nothing much to say.
Stressed.
Tired.
Sleepy.
Headache all day.
The pressure.
The pain.
Did I do enough?
I have been preparing for this for the past year.
Will I succeed?
Will I prevail?
Will I raise my head, look at fear in the face and say, "suck it!"
Only time will tell.
Actually, tomorrow will tell.
Attempting one more time at this crazy thing I have been chasing for a year.
Am I crazy for trying again?
Have I exhausted all my chances?
So many sleepless nights.
So many stressful days.
Screaming kids.
Disrespect.
Loud laughing.
Do I really want this?

HELL YES.

Today I left work early to study.

I spent a few hours at my usual location.


Caffeine was consumed.

Then I went to have lunch/dinner.

(Sorry, I was too hungry and forgot to take some food porn)

Then headed to B&N for more studying.







Sunday, December 07, 2014

Paradise City

I have been away. Absent from this blog for a few days...ok, five or six days. I open my blog app, looking forward to update, but nothing comes to mind. I find myself driving to work in the morning and have the perfect blog entry already in my mind, but then forget about it.

Then I get caught up with work. Lesson plans, power points, standing at the door, greeting students that pass you by, looking at you with hate. "Oh, I hate English. Why must I be here? I don't need to know about Romeo and Juliet, I am going to be in the oil field." Some kids say. Or that one student that every morning, tells me my class is boring and wants to go to the class next door because it looks fun and they get to do great things. But no, "ms. You're so boring. This class is boring," she tells me as she looks toward that classroom.

I smile. But my heart breaks. I have woken up early in the morning, prepare for the day, only to have one student ruin the entire day that has not even started. It's true, we have to be tough skinned for the job, but when you are constantly being judged, looked at, questioned...is it worth it?

I spend every night after school studying. I read over and study terms. What's aesthetic response? Analogy? Hyperbole? Denouement? Catharsis? Formative assessment? Summarize assessment? And the list goes on...

Lately I have been feeling so alone, but so attached lately. I want to be left alone, but at the same time I go looking for people.

This Friday I volunteered to be a chaperon at some 9th grade dance. It was fun. But when I walked in, I saw my boss, and the two vice principals and a bunch of parents.

I stayed talking to the mothers, but I could not relate. I had to escape. They spoke about their kids, about their husbands, things they do with their children. And of course, I could not relate to anything they said. I went to the dance area and stood there, held the wall. As I was listening to the music and watching the kids dance, my days as a high school kid came back to me. I was uncomfortable then as I was now. I tried to get in the dancing mood and some kids did ask me to dance with them, but it was just too weird.

I did enjoy spending some time with the boss and the other vice principals. We are always on the go, working during the day, that night was a good time to talk. I got to play ping pong with my boss and I think I beat him, or I was beating him. Who knows, but I had fun.

I stayed the entire dance. If I went home, all I would do was sleep or study and I wanted to give my brain a break.

The next day I helped with Saturday school. After work, I came to my apartment and  slept for about four hours.

The semester is almost over and I can't wait for those two weeks off. I need a break from life, a break from screaming kids, grading and lesson planning. 

When I was a reporter and out in the field, I went with an open mind. If it was a press conference for the nuclear power plant, I knew the director of communication so I always had a little background. I knew what it was about, I knew how I would start. Or when I was interviewing that one source and they said something amazing, I knew, I knew that was going to be my lede. I knew what they had just said to me, would be "the" quote that would elivate my article to the next level.

I miss it. I miss covering breaking news. I miss hanging up that phone in the newsroom, getting my reporter notebook, camera and off to the scene of the accident. I loved that my media badge would get me access to almost everything. Standing by the yellow tape, but getting the signal from the officer, allowing me to cross and go over. That amazing feeling, that rush of adrenaline. Or sitting in that courtroom, steps away from the killer, making eye contact with him and asking him a question.

I don't know why I am thinking about all this. I don't want to go back to covering news. I want to teach. I think I just want to feel that adrenaline rush again, at least for a few seconds to spark that feeling I had when I started teaching.    

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Old, older than dirt

Let's face it, I am old. I woke up a while ago, thinking I had been sleeping for a long time. I felt rested. I was ready to face another day at work. But no, it was only 11:30 pm. As usual, I started watching a show earlier in the night and fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, I had missed the end completely. This isn't new, I am used to it. But soon after I realized I had missed the show in its entirely, I closed my eyes. I opened them again and Yep, still not the right time.

It happened last night too. I woke up at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I was at work by 6:30 am. I am so old.

It doesn't help either that I am having dinner, Yep, you read right - dinner at 4:30 pm.

I am just old.

Two more weeks and we get two weeks off. Can't wait.

I subbed today, for a spanish teacher and it was cool.


Sunday, November 30, 2014

Dear bed

I missed you so.
Your comfort, your firmness, how you hug me when I am tired. How you settle when I am laying down.
Getting my very own memory foam mattress was the best decision ever. You have moved with me through three jobs, three cities and you have not left my side. I have left furniture behind, but not you.

Ok, enough about my awesome matress.

I am back in Midland after being away since Tuesday. I drove to Fort Worth and hung out with my sister:


And then we drove to Austin and hung out with the rest of the family. It was fun, exciting and awesome. I love my family so much.


Here I am with Caleb, at just six years old, he knows the periodic table of elements from left to right, up and down. He can tell you about the elements and what they are called and he has this neat app he uses to mix elements and stuff. He played it while I took this photo. It's insane how smart this little boy is. So amazed.

And the other love of my life is so smart. She can say her ABCs and count to 50 and she's just 3 years old. They are both so freaking smart.


Before I left Fort Worth today, my sister and I went to eat at our favorite breakfast place.


And this happened too.


So delicious.

In other news, for Christmas I got me this. I had the original a few years back, but it broke. Now I got me the 2.0 and OMG I am in love.


Here it is being christened by a Starbucks K Cup tonight.


I should get ready for work. It's another week of R&J, I am glad that it's the last week, until next year.

This week I am also going full throttle on my studying and three more weeks and we have Christmas vacation. Can't wait!





Thursday, November 27, 2014

Fun filled day

Hanging with the family.


And we ate cake for Lily's birthday. 


Spent lots of time coloring.


Then we set up the living room for our annual photo.


End results:


And



And hung out with caleb and played games.


And ate a lot of food.


And ended the night with a glass of wine and conversation. Such a great time!










Tuesday, November 25, 2014

On the road again

Today work went well. The kids behaved, somewhat. We had an awesome luncheon!

As soon as that bell rang, I left work for Fort Worth. I couldn't wait to see my sister!

The light show outside her apartments.





Tomorrow we head out to Austin. Can't wait to see all the family!!




Saturday, November 22, 2014

Hello

These last couple of days I have been focused. I have been away from the blog scene and studying for my test. Away from television, and other distractions. I have either spent my time at my favorite location studying away, or at my apartment. I am focused. I am ready and damn it, I better pass this sucker. At this point, it's not just about a test, this is a challenge that I can do this. I can prove to myself I am smart. I can prove to those that don't think I can - pass this test. I have the 4-8 grades under my belt, I want the 7-12. That's what I signed up for and that's what I am going to do. I can retain information. I have always let a number put me down, I am standing up and fighting. I am going to fight until the end, even if I end up worn out, tired and in tears, I will not give up.


Work has also not been an easy ride this past week. I literally have had to sub for another teacher during my conference everyday this week. 


With the exception of Tuesday, when I was at training, I have been a sub. I know it's needed, we have to be there for each other - but them calling on the same people is a little cray cray. (Yep, I said cray cray). I know of some teachers who have come up to me and said they have refused to sub. They complain, they even encourage to tell them they don't have a right to take away our time. But for me, it's not the end of the world. I have always, and will always be there to lend a hand. As I grow older and evolve, little things like these are not such a big deal. Yes, I may complain for a bit, but in the end, just being a decent human being and helping out is what it's all about. You never know when in life, you will need someone to help you.

I guess this week has been about reflection too. The holidays always open the door for that inner conversation. Another year, another lonely time. What to do with my time. Seeing everyone move forward, getting married, having kids. Being in the middle of that conversation that I can't be a part of because I can't relate.

Some of my students were having a conversation about marriage and kids (we've been reading R&J) and one my students was saying how young they both were...etc. 

And one of the girls said, "oh gosh I hope I find someone in my 20s, I want kids!"

They talked about how old was too old and I said, "I am almost 40 and I don't have kids and I am ok."

All stopped what they were doing and looked at me in disbelief.

One started laughing.

"Good one ms! You know you're in your 20s, don't lie! You are so young, there's no way you are 40!"

And another girl said, "If I were in my 40s and have no one, I would just give up on life and give up on ever finding anyone to spend my life with."

I had a knot on my throat. Was what she was saying true? She's only a teenager, so young and no experience, but was she right? I have lived my life on my own for so long, I have forgotten what going on a date feels like. Would I know when someone is trying to flirt with me? I never have to ask someone else what to do and where to go. I want pizza for dinner? I go eat. I want to spend endless hours drinking coffee and surfing the Internet, my wish is my command. Oh well, at least I can do what I want.

I am so looking forward to spending time with the family. Thanksgiving is my holiday. The entire family is together. We laugh and joke and hang out and most importantly, I get to see the niece and nephew. So excited, I can't wait.




Tuesday, November 18, 2014

One foot in front of the other

The sharp pain woke me from a deep, confortable dream of fluffy clouds and rainbows.

The clock read 4 a.m.
It was cold.

The television still on, playing some informercial about fruit juicers.

I got up.

The throbbing pain was coming from the left side of my brain. The pain quickly attacked my forehead like a twister hitting a town without an invitation.

I couldn't keep my eyes open.

"This pain," I though. "Needs to go away."

Took some migraine meds and I went back to bed. "I still have a few hours before I have to get up," I though to myself.

But I couldn't sleep. My body aches for sleep, but my head is screaming otherwise.

Sleeping sitting up worked.

"Please God, let me sleep, let this pain go away."

I drifted into sleep.

By the time it was time to wake up, the sharp pain attacked with a vengeance.
I forced myself to get up, shower and get ready. Today I am off to training and I can't miss it.

But this pain.
 
These migraines don't come as much anymore. They have stayed for days at a time, but lately, they had left me. Or so I thought.

As I drove off to the training location, hunger called me out. While trying to rush out of the apartment and the pain still throbbing, eating was the last thing I wanted to do. But my stomach craved food. I was starving.

Once at the training, the bright lights. It was too much. I wanted to leave.


But some important stuff was being taught.


The pain lasted through lunch and thanks to my coteacher, who gave me some stronger meds than what I had, the pain began to disappear.

I skipped lunch and stayed inside the building while everyone went to eat.

And I studied.


I am determined to pass this test. Knowing that I passed the other one is comforting, but I signed up to teach high school and that's what I want to do.

For now the migraine is gone. I can relax, eat and study tonight. 

Tomorrow, it's back to work.



Monday, November 17, 2014

Blank space

This weekend I rested. Sure I worked a few hours at school, but I made good use of the time. I printed work for the week, updated lesson plans and took care of some things.

On Sunday, I went to watch a high school play, Godspell. It was amazing. As I watched, I had to remind myself these were high school kids.




Such fun performance.

Then it snowed for a few hours.


Work went well today. I had an observation from my certification program during first period. Who does that?? I think, and hope, it went well. I also had another walk through observation during 7th period. I was caught sitting down, I hope it all went well.

Tomorrow I will be at an all day training. I left work for the kiddos. My sub, who had taken the job about a month ago, canceled this morning. Again, who does that? Why? I was upset. Sure hope I have a sub tomorrow.

Tonight I started studying for my other ELA test. Wish me luck, yo!







Friday, November 14, 2014

Good life

Today started like any other. I was focused on finishing act one, scene five from Romeo and Juliet. My first period enjoyed the scene and couldn't believe that they had just met and had fallen in love. That's how it went pretty much all day. It was all shock and disbelief.

Then I was assigned to sub during my conference period. I ended up subbing in art class. It was a fun class. Jarod came to hang out and keep me company for a bit.

During third period, as I was explaining to the kids about the hate between the Capulets and Montegues, my phone buzzed. I looked and was very surprised to see this:


My world shook. I panicked. I lost my thoughts and had to take a few minutes to compose myself. I am not ready for this. Not now, it's Friday. Do I want to look now and start crying now, in front of the kids and in front of my sub coteacher?

So I continued to teach and ignored the email. I set my phone aside, for fear I may go and click away.

During my 4th period I could wait no more. This was it. Now or never. I studied my ass off for this moment. I want to continue teaching and if this is the way, then I should accept this.

Then I sent my sister a text. She texted back, "not looking won't change the outcome. I say just look."

So while the kids answered a few questions from the book, I looked.


I did a double take. I passed? I passed!! 

Then I texted my sister.


I wanted to cry. I wanted to jump for joy. I wanted to shout it to the world. I had passed my test, and on the first try!

I kept the news to myself, well, I told Jarod the news and we both cheered.

Then I waited until after school to tell everyone, but by the time bus duty had ended everyone in the English department was gone for the day. I did go looking for my boss, the big enchilada, to tell him the awesome news. I got two awesome hugs from him. Two hugs!! And he told me how excited and happy he was for me. I am so blessed to have an amazing boss like that. There are those bosses you work for and you just know they are not good leaders, they don't care and are just there for themselves. Not him. He cares. He actually wants to see you succeed in life. He's someone I would love to have a cup of coffee and just have an awesome conversation with.

I sent my scores to my DC and all I got was a "wow" from her. I am not sure If that was a "wow, it's about time you passed a test, wow" or if she was just in shock about the entire thing. Not sure yet. I hope it was a "wow, amazing news!!" ;)

Here, my scores again.


And to top it off, my secret bulldog gave me this!! It's 25 days of Starbucks!!


And then after two weeks of having a rental, the car repair shop called to tell me my car was ready!!

I am very happy Jarod was there, because he drove with me to pick up my love and followed me to drop off the rental.


My baby looks new!!

Then he left, but he took my key!! Since he drove my car, I didn't realized he had taken my key. The car was still on and I had a spare key at my apartment, so I prayed that my car didn't power off on my way home.

He later called me and I went to pick up my key from his apartment.

Now, I enjoy and celebrate my amazing day with a cup of peppermint mocha.


Not pictured is a delicious slice of chocolate cheesecake.

Oh and I also got this email. I am a gold member for another year. Can this day get any better?? Such an amazing feeling to have some good news for a change. I have been thanking God all day long. So happy to have friends that care, good coffee and awesome bosses. Here's to an amazing new chapter in my life!









Wednesday, November 12, 2014

State of sleepiness

I fell asleep watching television. Sitting up, neck in pain, my head drooping. I had missed an entire show and half way through another of my favorite shows. I hate when that happens.

The phone rings. It's my mom. She wanted to ask me about the weather before I fell asleep, but she was too late.

Today has been a very draining day. We started with Romeo and Juliet today. The kids confused. The kids in shock and asking questions like, "Why can't we just watch the movie like the AP kids?" "Why can't we just skip the play all together?"

Of course, AP is not watching the entire movie, I tell them. They are watching short clips. Then they go on and ask, "well, why can't we?" Kids would rather argue and try to persuade me, instead of starting the play.

Having to explain to the kids what is going on in each scene is exhausting. I have my No Fear Shakespear, but still, it's exhausting trying to explain the same thing, every period.

This morning, in first period I got an observation. Just as I was trying to explain "maidenheads" and "thumb biting" and "ms what does it mean when they say thrust his maids to the wall?"

I was like, "you've got to be kidding me?!" I may have received an OK observation, but that's not how I wanted to start my day since my day started off terrible and not to mention it was freezing in the morning.


Just as I was heading out for work, the lock to the inside of my apartment got jammed. At first I was like, no big deal, I can get out. Thirty minutes later, I was annoyed, angry and then sad.

There was no way in hell I was going to stay locked inside my apartment until the apartment office opened.

I panicked because I was going to be late for work. I was having a long work day and this was not happening.

After about 30 minutes, jabbing in a knife to unscrew the door knob, I decided to text my department chair. This text would sound like a joke. I thought twice before sending it.


Needless to say, a few minutes after this exchange, the lock unlocked. I was free. I was feeling trapped no longer.

Later Jarod and I went to starbucks for some coffee and a smoke. The entire day went the same every single class period.

By 8th period I was tired and sleepy and cold and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I hope tomorrow is a better day.