Today was a good day at work. I bought Starbucks for our morning meeting, but only 2 people got coffee. One even said, "ugh, I forgot how much I dislike this coffee." Wow, seriously? Then go back to your cheap coffee.
I was ok with it, I was able to drink more coffee.
I got another yummy refill and gave another cup to Jarod and took it to the mail room where one of the coaches saw me carrying the coffee carrier and asked if he could have some. He said I was a sweetheart for bringing coffee. I thought that was sweet. First time I ever talk to him, no joke. I usually just say "hi" to him.
And speaking of coffee...
I know....three more free drinks!
My weekly report.
My lunch today.
So today after school I got this NPR breaking news tab.
I got worried. I hope and pray to God that it doesn't spread and we all don't have to quarantine ourselves for ever.
After talking to a few teachers about this, all I wanted was to hug someone. And then I remembered I don't have anyone. So my feeling worried, turned into sadness. The people I was taking to, have someone to go home to and hold.
You know how women have their biological clock and how they say it ticks because they want children? Well, my relationship biological clock has been ticking very loud lately. Not the kid clock, I have 100 kids I take care of on a daily bases, that's birth control enough. I don't usually get all personal on this blog. Sure, I will mention a few things about how I feel from time to time...but after turning 39 this year, it hit me. I am 39 and alone. I have no one to come home to. No one to wish me a happy birthday or ask me how my day went. I come home everyday to an empty apartment. I come home to a place I don't like because unfortunately, this is all I can afford.
I see people get married and have kids and I just can't help but get super sad.
Disclaimer: Yes, I love myself and I love my life and job and what I have done.
But let's face it, I am not Wonder Woman. There's this one student in one of my classes who kept asking me if I was married. When I told her I wasn't, she asked if I had a boyfriend. I told her I didn't want to answer that question. She couldn't understand why I didn't have anyone in my life. Then her next question was, "So you are all alone?" That broke my heart and all I wanted to do was cry.
Today, after I left work, I drove around. I didn't want to make it home because nothing was waiting for me. I had dinner, alone, something I do a lot of.
I will stop with the soap box. Need to get over this feeling. I really should be studying tomorrow's lesson.