Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Oh, hello there

Dear one blog reader, or that one Tori Amos fan that found my blog by Googling "To Venus and Back" and thought they'd get info on the album, I have been tired and blogging less. It's not because I don't want to, I have lots to say, my brain is constantly thinking of things to write about in my blog.

Today was a good day at work. I bought Starbucks for our morning meeting, but only 2 people got coffee. One even said, "ugh, I forgot how much I dislike this coffee." Wow, seriously? Then go back to your cheap coffee.

I was ok with it, I was able to drink more coffee.

I got another yummy refill and gave another cup to Jarod and took it to the mail room where one of the coaches saw me carrying the coffee carrier and asked if he could have some. He said I was a sweetheart for bringing coffee. I thought that was sweet. First time I ever talk to him, no joke. I usually just say "hi" to him.


And speaking of coffee...


I know....three more free drinks! 

My weekly report.


My lunch today.


So today after school I got this NPR breaking news tab.


I got worried. I hope and pray to God that it doesn't spread and we all don't have to quarantine ourselves for ever.

After talking to a few teachers about this, all I wanted was to hug someone. And then I remembered I don't have anyone. So my feeling worried, turned into sadness. The people I was taking to, have someone to go home to and hold. 

You know how women have their biological clock and how they say it ticks because they want children? Well, my relationship biological clock has been ticking very loud lately. Not the kid clock, I have 100 kids I take care of on a daily bases, that's birth control enough. I don't usually get all personal on this blog. Sure, I will mention a few things about how I feel from time to time...but after turning 39 this year, it hit me. I am 39 and alone. I have no one to come home to. No one to wish me a happy birthday or ask me how my day went. I come home everyday to an empty apartment. I come home to a place I don't like because unfortunately, this is all I can afford.

I see people get married and have kids and I just can't help but get super sad.

Disclaimer: Yes, I love myself and I love my life and job and what I have done.

But let's face it, I am not Wonder Woman. There's this one student in one of my classes who kept asking me if I was married. When I told her I wasn't, she asked if I had a boyfriend. I told her I didn't want to answer that question. She couldn't understand why I didn't have anyone in my life. Then her next question was, "So you are all alone?" That broke my heart and all I wanted to do was cry.

Today, after I left work, I drove around. I didn't want to make it home because nothing was waiting for me. I had dinner, alone, something I do a lot of.

I will stop with the soap box. Need to get over this feeling. I really should be studying tomorrow's lesson.





Saturday, September 27, 2014

Fuego fuego

I was walking down the hall at school, toward my classroom this morning, when  I remembered something Tom Hanks said many years ago when he was being interviewed. He said, as children you are in the back seat of the car, letting parents drive you, they are in control. But there comes a time when you soon realize it is now you who is driving. You are all grown up and now in charge, driving on your own, toward your destiny. You have the kids, the married, the life.

And that is me now. I go to class, teach and help the next generation. They will soon, take over and be the adults. 
But it's weird to think that way, because I have always felt as a kid at heart. I have always seen others "grow up" meaning getting married, having children and moving on. I have always felt as having all the time in the world. But that's not so true anymore. I can't just pick up and have that baby, I can't decide to pick up and go to Europe in a moments notice, people always tell me how lucky I am to be single and independent. But I beg to differ, I wouldn't mind having that life.

I have seen a lot of baby announcements lately, lots of weddings on Facebook from friends I grew up with. Heck, just the other day I saw a friend post a photo of their grandchild. Seriously? Scary.

Oh well, moving on...

This is from this morning.


Then I spent some time at Saturday school.


And then I had dinner.


And now grading.







Friday, September 26, 2014

Say hello to my little friend

After what seemed like a really long week, the night ended with a delicious drink.


I had some dinner and then came home to relax. Today was such a long day. We've had a buttload of meetings this week, that's why I am so tired. 

Tuesday - 7:45 am meeting
Wednesday - 7:45 am training, then a 9:51 am meeting with the boss.
Thursday - PLC. I like these meetings, but I wish we could get released at least 10 min before the bell. I like to just decompress a bit, before the students show up and sometimes I feel like we are released and we all go scramming like chickens with head cut off, rushing to the only staff bathrooms and making sure no one else beats us to them.
Friday - Today I had an unexpected visit from my ELA coach. Grrrrrr and had an ARD during my conference period and then bus duty after school.

This weekend I have to work on lesson plans, grade 100 plus essays, grade other minor grades and prepare for the week because the end of the first six weeks is fast approaching.

I am already tired, just writing about it. But in the meantime, body hurts, feet ache, headache. Hope things get better. I feel so drained.




Thursday, September 25, 2014

Tired

I have been so tired all week. I am not sure why.


I have been hitting the snooze button way too much in the mornings.


This morning I got me some coffee, but was upset when I noticed they didn't give me the right coffee. Yep, I was upset.

But not to worry, I just got another free drink. Woop!


After school I headed over to watch some of my students play football. They won! It was fun, this was the first game I had been to for school, ever.


I was so tired, but I had already told my students I would go watch them. Before getting there, I had to go get an iced coffee. It kept me awake through the entire game. Good thing they won.

Nothing much to say, just have been very busy at school and tired.




Tuesday, September 23, 2014

After the weekend

On Sunday after I arrived from the long drive, I napped. When I woke up, I had a massive migraine. I had also slept for about three hours and didn't really get anything done.

On Monday, that massive migraine haunted me. It overstayed it's visit and made it's home comfortably between my forehead, eyes and nose. The throbbing, the continuous throbbing continued all day long. The pain coming from the back of my eyeballs was insane. I felt hot. I felt cold. I was hungry, but couldn't eat. I felt dizzy. I felt nauseous. Monday was not a good day. 

But food I needed. Not eating anything all day, called for a visit to Jason's Deli for the salad bar. My body was craving salad. Maybe it's trying to tell me something. It's saying, "stop eating junk food woman!"

Today was a better day. I still feel like I am behind on sleep. I am tired, sleepy and a little overwhelmed about school. You would think this week would be a breeze, the kids are working on their expository essay. But I worry.

Today I went to watch my coteachers daughter play tennis. It was cool.


But I left early because I was beyond tired and starving.

I should head to bed. I feel like I may be coming down with something, or maybe I am just tired. Who knows, good night.


Sunday, September 21, 2014

Good weekend

Today was one long day. I left Santa Fe after forcing myself out of bed. I was tired. I went looking for the Starbucks after I checked out, but I didn't have to look far.


Then I headed out. The views were beautiful.


And then...


And then, it was flooded in Roswell.


And got bad again.


And drove through this.


And got a bunch of these.


And I was so happy to see this sign.


And once I got to Midland, it was still flooded.


Then I napped for about two hours. It was a good weekend.













There was cake!

I arrived to the church way too early. The bridal group was taking photos when I arrived.


The Loretto Church.


So beautiful.


And I sat and took a selfie right next to the famous staircase.


And the strings were beautiful.


Jenny walked in.


She said I do.


And then we partied! Ok, I celebrated by eating all the yummy food and drinks.

And there was a photo booth and this happened.


And this deliciousness New Mexico meal.


And I am not emberassed to say I ate two slices of cake.

See, delicious.


My view of the dance floor. See there, cake! 


A photo with the bride.


And my department chair Misty, Jenny and me. ELA team unites!


Had such a great time! So glad I made the drive. Tomorrow I leave early, I have to finish planning for the week.
















Saturday, September 20, 2014

The road trip

I left Midland bright and early this morning.


Got my coffee (check out the time) and headed out. The rain was not so bad, until I got near New Mexico. There was some minor flooding, but it wasn't that bad.


But before arriving in Santa Fe, I made a stop in Roswell. Where did I stop first you ask?


Then headed out to the UFO museum, which was small, but fun.


I didn't really see anything interesting. Oh wait, that dude photoboming me with his iPad, I think he's some kind of alien. ��


I got another visitor to take a photo of me acting silly with the aliens. And I couldn't leave without some UFO water.


Then I saw lots of this....


Then made it to Santa Fe. I checked in to my hotel room and knocked out for almost 2 hours. Not to mention that I gained an hour. I didn't take I to account the fact that New Mexico is in a other time zone. Actually it never occurred to me to check.

As I was driving around Santa Fe, looking for a place to have a very late breakfast and lunch, I found a national cemetery. This was pretty cool, I also paid my respects to all the military men and women that were there. 


Now it's almost time to head over to Jenny's wedding. I am sure it's going to be an awesome night with lots of happiness and hugs and dinner and cake! Yes, is that terrible to say I want cake before dinner? Too bad I have to wait.










Thursday, September 18, 2014

Carry me away

I left for Odessa at 6:30 am because it had been raining all night long and because I didn't know how traffic would be going there in the morning. It was fine, no traffic and so I made it to Starbucks. I was there for a few hours and then headed out to take the test at the university.

After the test I had a late lunch and headed to my apartment to nap. I sure was tired.

But tomorrow I will be observed again. I wish those observations would stop for a bit, so I could have time to breathe. Let's get this over with. But tomorrow is the bulldog beauty pageant and half my classes are headed to the library, so I am glad. Then a meeting with my boss during my conference period, bus duty after school and New Mexico. Should be fun!


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Beyond the veil

I took half a day off today to relax, so I headed off to the happiest place on earth - Starbucks.

I am so lucky to have an awesome principal and DC who understand I need time to relax before the test. Either that or they are probably just wanting to say, "sweet baby Jesus can you just please pass this test??!!" 

I got my afternoon snack:


And listened to some music, but I couldn't help it...


And


I have been studying for the last 9 months. I can say that the last three times I have taken this test have all been practice tests...very expensive practice tests, but there's really nothing I can do now.

The last three times I have been stressing, staying up late and stressing out. All I can do now is pray, pray, pray and hope for the best.


And I can read this prayer before the test. My DC sent me this. How very nice of her to cheer me on! I just hope I don't fail the test. I can't take another failure.

In other news, today as I was drinking my iced coffee and relaxing the day away, not thinking about the test, a man asked if I didn't mind he sitting in my table. I told him I didn't mind. He started talking to me. How he was from Dallas, he was here on business, on a quick break before he headed out. We spoke for about an hour. He asked me about work, I asked him about work. Then before he left, he told me something so random. Something that I hadn't heard in a very long time. He said I was gorgeous and if he could have my number because he didn't want to stop talking to me.

His comment caught me by surprise. I honestly have not heard this from a man...correction...straight man. I say that because my 3 BFFs are gay men and although I love them to death and they tell me nice comments, it's always nice to hear it from a straight man. Sorry Jordan, David and JR...haha...but it's true.

Truth be told, after the Acosta heartbreak of 2012 and 2014, I had honestly given up on that four letter word. For a long time I was numb inside and accepted the fact that after my divorce, I would probably never find anyone again. And that was ok because I had accepted it. I love me, my job and where God has lead me. If I had someone, I probably would have settled and ended up in an unhappy life and job. But I have survived my ex leaving me...after 10 years of being together. So some random man from another city ...some unknown man, telling me he thought I was gorgeous was a nice compliment.

Maybe I am getting way too personal here, but I had already surrendered to the fact that I would probably be single for the rest of my life.

That man telling me that, was a sign that maybe there's still hope and I shouldn't give up. At least not yet.

Ok, I should probably go to bed. I want to take a practice test, but what for? I am ready. No need to stress. I just need to take the exam. Nothing I can do now. 

Ok, good night world.


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

One foot in front of the other

At 4 am I knew it was going to be a tough day. I got up to get ready because I had to prepare for my theme lesson plan, but sweet baby Jesus my entire body was aching. Breathing was tough. I was sore. Not the "hey, it's the first week of school" sore, but a different kind. I felt like my muscles were weighing me down. It felt like I had landed on sore city and it was population 1.

I told my DC I would be leaving to get a doctors appointment. Left, but found no luck. The more I moved and walked from place to place, the more it hurt. I wanted to go home and sleep and relax and hope that pain would go away. But nope, no luck. I had to go back. I was annoyed because I wanted to sit and sleep the soreness away.

I took some tramadol and things got a bit better, but I still wanted to lay down and not be standing. I seriously had no idea a car accident like that would cause so much discomfort.

Last year I took the track your happiness survey and it looks like they are starting it up again. I recently started getting random texts with links to answer some questions. 

Looks like things haven't changed. LOL


Tomorrow I am off half a day to study.

I seriously hope and pray to God nothing bad happens. It seems like every time I am about to take this test, something happens to me. I hope the car accident was the Big Bang and nothing else will happen.

And then the test Thursday.

I am excited about driving to New Mexico to my faux mentor's wedding. It's going to be a quick trip, but hey, I have never been to New Mexico. Should be fun. I hope to stop at Roswell and take a photo with an alien. Haha