Thursday, September 18, 2014

Carry me away

I left for Odessa at 6:30 am because it had been raining all night long and because I didn't know how traffic would be going there in the morning. It was fine, no traffic and so I made it to Starbucks. I was there for a few hours and then headed out to take the test at the university.

After the test I had a late lunch and headed to my apartment to nap. I sure was tired.

But tomorrow I will be observed again. I wish those observations would stop for a bit, so I could have time to breathe. Let's get this over with. But tomorrow is the bulldog beauty pageant and half my classes are headed to the library, so I am glad. Then a meeting with my boss during my conference period, bus duty after school and New Mexico. Should be fun!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Beyond the veil

I took half a day off today to relax, so I headed off to the happiest place on earth - Starbucks.

I am so lucky to have an awesome principal and DC who understand I need time to relax before the test. Either that or they are probably just wanting to say, "sweet baby Jesus can you just please pass this test??!!" 

I got my afternoon snack:

And listened to some music, but I couldn't help it...


I have been studying for the last 9 months. I can say that the last three times I have taken this test have all been practice tests...very expensive practice tests, but there's really nothing I can do now.

The last three times I have been stressing, staying up late and stressing out. All I can do now is pray, pray, pray and hope for the best.

And I can read this prayer before the test. My DC sent me this. How very nice of her to cheer me on! I just hope I don't fail the test. I can't take another failure.

In other news, today as I was drinking my iced coffee and relaxing the day away, not thinking about the test, a man asked if I didn't mind he sitting in my table. I told him I didn't mind. He started talking to me. How he was from Dallas, he was here on business, on a quick break before he headed out. We spoke for about an hour. He asked me about work, I asked him about work. Then before he left, he told me something so random. Something that I hadn't heard in a very long time. He said I was gorgeous and if he could have my number because he didn't want to stop talking to me.

His comment caught me by surprise. I honestly have not heard this from a man...correction...straight man. I say that because my 3 BFFs are gay men and although I love them to death and they tell me nice comments, it's always nice to hear it from a straight man. Sorry Jordan, David and JR...haha...but it's true.

Truth be told, after the Acosta heartbreak of 2012 and 2014, I had honestly given up on that four letter word. For a long time I was numb inside and accepted the fact that after my divorce, I would probably never find anyone again. And that was ok because I had accepted it. I love me, my job and where God has lead me. If I had someone, I probably would have settled and ended up in an unhappy life and job. But I have survived my ex leaving me...after 10 years of being together. So some random man from another city ...some unknown man, telling me he thought I was gorgeous was a nice compliment.

Maybe I am getting way too personal here, but I had already surrendered to the fact that I would probably be single for the rest of my life.

That man telling me that, was a sign that maybe there's still hope and I shouldn't give up. At least not yet.

Ok, I should probably go to bed. I want to take a practice test, but what for? I am ready. No need to stress. I just need to take the exam. Nothing I can do now. 

Ok, good night world.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

One foot in front of the other

At 4 am I knew it was going to be a tough day. I got up to get ready because I had to prepare for my theme lesson plan, but sweet baby Jesus my entire body was aching. Breathing was tough. I was sore. Not the "hey, it's the first week of school" sore, but a different kind. I felt like my muscles were weighing me down. It felt like I had landed on sore city and it was population 1.

I told my DC I would be leaving to get a doctors appointment. Left, but found no luck. The more I moved and walked from place to place, the more it hurt. I wanted to go home and sleep and relax and hope that pain would go away. But nope, no luck. I had to go back. I was annoyed because I wanted to sit and sleep the soreness away.

I took some tramadol and things got a bit better, but I still wanted to lay down and not be standing. I seriously had no idea a car accident like that would cause so much discomfort.

Last year I took the track your happiness survey and it looks like they are starting it up again. I recently started getting random texts with links to answer some questions. 

Looks like things haven't changed. LOL

Tomorrow I am off half a day to study.

I seriously hope and pray to God nothing bad happens. It seems like every time I am about to take this test, something happens to me. I hope the car accident was the Big Bang and nothing else will happen.

And then the test Thursday.

I am excited about driving to New Mexico to my faux mentor's wedding. It's going to be a quick trip, but hey, I have never been to New Mexico. Should be fun. I hope to stop at Roswell and take a photo with an alien. Haha

Monday, September 15, 2014

Open house

Tonight was open house. It went better than last year. I got to meet some parents and they were nice.

Today I was so much in pain. My body felt like my muscles were being held down. Walking was painful and well, I felt like I was dragging.

I still managed to walk a lot though. Go figure.

For dinner I had:

Today I had an instructional coach model my first period. I was super excited because I learned a lot and I was ready to teach theme today. Wrong. She asked that I teach theme tomorrow. I was nervous and upset because I wanted to teach it today. She is coming tomorrow to my 3rd so I could practice. I was hoping she would let me teach it today so I could practice. But nope. I don't mean to be whinny, but I am so stressed about my test Thursday. I really wish I didn't have any additional stress. And just thinking about having to teach this for the first time, while I have someone in the room with me is just stressful beyond belief.

Anyway, I better sleep. I have to wake up super early to prectice, plan and for a 7:45 meeting we have. Ugh I need to study!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

The car crash

I was in a car accident yesterday.
I am ok. But my car isn't.

I know I should be crying and worried about me, but I have been more worried about my Bubba 3.0

She's only a month and four days old!

How did this all happen?

I had spent the morning at Starbucks, studying because my friend wanted to meet me at work. 

You know, lesson planning and open house on Monday. Wanted to get things in order. I also have an instructional coach coming to my first period to model theme for me.

I had just left Walgreens, my favorite location. And I made a left on one of the main roads to get to her house. I was at a red light, waiting...thinking about everything I have to for the week and rocking to some Taylor Swift music when wam! A big white F-250 hit me. It rear ended my car. At first I was like...what happened? Then I saw the big truck right behind me. I drove my car off to the side and the truck wasn't moving. It was stopped at the light still. Having watched lots of news and remembering my days as a reporter, I wondered if that man was going to make a run for it. I was like, "oh hell no." 

I got off my car, so angry, upset. How dare this man crash Into me? I have work to do today. I have planning for school, grocery shopping, laundry to do...more studying!

As I was getting off the car, I felt a sharp pain on my chest and then some neck pain. I walked to the corner. A man selling food at a food truck looked up from cooking and said, "He's going to get away." I walked to the corner of the intersection and took my phone out. No, not to call 911, that occurred to me later. I started taking photos of the truck and license plates. In case he drove off. At this time I had no idea what kind of injuries my car had sustained, I was just angry.

Then I called 911 to get a cop.

"Do you need an ambulance?" The operator said.

"I need a cop, this man is not moving from the road and looks like he's on the phone."

The man then drove and parked next to me. He got off.

"Why did you hit me? It was a red light, didn't you see??"

I was so angry. 

Then I looked at my car and got more upset.

The accident happened, literally no lie, half a block from my apartment.

The poor man asked if I was ok, he apologized. But I was so upset and angry. 

The cop showed up. He took our information.

"Wow, your car doesn't even have license plates yet..." He said.

"Are you sure you don't need an ambulance ma'am?" The officer asked.

My friend showed up. I had told her a man had hit me and offered to come to make sure I was ok.

I got my case number and then went to her house. After I started to relax my body started to hurt. Knees, chest, neck and lower back.

I drove myself to the hospital.

And a football game was on my tv. The horror. My shoulder hurt so much and I couldn't stretch my arm. So I was stuck watching. I think the nurse saw the horror in my face and gave me the remote. She was nice.

It was Texas Tech and someone else, who knows.

Some X-rays later and check up from the doctor, I was released.

This is the third trip to the ER in 2014. Seriously, I have lived in Midland for a year and would like to see the inside of a different building. Something that doesn't require me to be registered and poked and asked to remove my clothing and put on some weird, thin hospital gown. Not cool.

The front desk, nurse and doctor all said I was the nicest patient ever. They were thanking me for being so patient. The doctor said they get some rude people come through and it's always a treat to get nice people. 

Overall a not so bad experience after all.

I was released, got some food and painfully walked up the stairs to my apartment.

I did sleep well.

I guess the meds and the pain knocked me out.

Hope I don't hurt too much when I get up. Yep, haven't gotten up from bed. I am sitting up in bed, that's how I slept the entire night. Less pain.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Free drink yay

I spent a few hours after school studying at Starbucks. I used my birthday free drink. It was delicious!

It was a mocha Frappuccino something...yeah, I usually don't get this type of drink. But seeing that it was free, I went for it.

Work went well today. We read and read and read and read....first period started off exciting, but after fourth period, I was trying to make it exciting, for me. The last time I read "The Most Dangerous Game," I was a newbie teacher and wasn't able to fully understand/explain the story to the fullest. This week is my second chance. I knew the characters, I knew the plot, setting and the conflict, but a broken record I was and I had to keep it entertaining for me. I played the audio recording for three periods, stopping at important parts of the story to check for understanding of course, but I began to read along, just moving my lips and being a bit dramatic when the good parts started. I didn't realize that my students were staring at me. Some giggled and when I realized what was going on, one said I was keeping them entertained and they were actually paying attention. Oh well, that was my fun moment of the day.

I went to the bathroom this morning and saw this. This looks like the dictionary morgue. This is where dictionaries come to die.

Here is a photo of a cute pig eraser. One of my students left it behind.

Driving back from studying this afternoon and saw this. Pretty cool.

This is what happens when you dress in the dark, or half asleep.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Dear diary

I have been busy, stressed and tired. But no, I have not forgotten about you dear blog. I was super upset yesterday about something that happened after school. So instead of using you as a tool to express my stress and frustration, I walked away from you. 

But yes, I am still here.

Today went actually pretty well in my class. I really should be knocking on wood when I say this, but this year I haven't had a big problem with behavior. Yes, I have the occasional loud group of kids, but I quickly set them straight. I enjoy that the kids are having fun. Sure, some roll their eyes, want to sleep or have an attitude, but I quickly remind them to buck up, pay attention you may just have fun.

We have been readying today and even though we are popcorn reading, I have read to the kids. By 4th period, I began to read to them with a different character voice. One kid said I sounded like a broadcast reporter because I was so serious, but then would change my tone. Some laughed, but said they liked it.

I say after 6 periods of reading and doing the same thing, you kind of do want to spicy it up and not only make it fun for the kids, but for you as well. Why? Well because you will get bored and you won't have fun. At least not me.

Anyway, I have to study, study, study. I am itching to take the test. But first I don't want to freak out, I want to pass. I feel like that last kid that is in PE class and the last one down the finish line running. The coach is patiently waiting for me to finish, cross that line...but in his heart, he knows I shouldn't be running. I need to prove peope wrong. I can do this, for those who don't believe I can do it and well, for me. I want to prove to myself that I am capable of passing this test.

I told my faux mentor that I want to have a Starbucks party when I pass the test. She probably thinks I am crazy, but I don't care. I want to have a Starbucks party. Haha

My fitbit weekly progress. Not cool.


Saturday, September 06, 2014

Friday, September 05, 2014

Sleepy time

Today during 8th period I got another observation. Seriously, will they ever stop, or at least until all of us can catch our breath? It seems like just as we kind of just get comfortable enough, someone else shows up. I know it's their job, but they need to go away for a little bit and let me get comfortable with my surroundings. We've been working and planning none stop, making sure everything is ready for the classroom, sometimes we (or can I say myself) forget to take a little break. We have to be ready for anything, at the drop of a hat, I just wish they would take a little break and go away for a bit. *Sigh* wishful thinking.  I am glad though, my kids were on task and we were all working on our assignments. I have one more observation on Monday, from my certification program after that, I hope they slow down.

Dinner: Wings with a side of...

Fries. I took myself out to dinner and celebrate another week.

Tomorrow I need to study, plan lesson plans, work on lesson plans, grade and post grades. I hope somewhere in between in have some time to relax a bit.

I am so tired. I have a friend who has three kids and she's constantly on the go, busy, taking care of them and doing anything and everything for them, I can't imagine having that life. I don't know how she does it either.

Today's steps:

Thursday, September 04, 2014

The day after

Yesterday I had a very stressful day. I knew going in that I was rusty with the subject, but I knew what I had to do. But I felt I failed, and it was noted to me right after the class, that it needed to be fixed. I got stressed, mostly because I wanted to make sure the kids were understanding and grasping the concepts. I wasn't afraid of losing my job, I can be asked to leave here today and I can easily go work somewhere else. Finding a job, has never been an issue. I pride myself on being able to always land on my feet. In 2013, when I left my job as editor, two other newspapers from the area found out and they tried to recruit me. Then other newspapers from the area began to call me, asking if I would interview for positions. But now, it's not just about a job, my real job is to make sure my students are learning and pass. Before it was just me and I could be hold accountable for just me, now, it's 120 kids that I need to take care of.

And with the help of some of my coworkers, I was able to be ready. By the end of the day, I had repeated the lesson so many times, I was satisfied with what I taught.

But all that stress tired me so much, I went to bed at 9 pm. My body ached so much, swollen ankles and muscles felt like they were in their final days. 

Yesterday I was observed twice and today I was observed once, my boss, the principal walked in to my class. It was glorious, my class was working, on task and most importantly, they were so quiet, a pin drop could be heard.

Tomorrow is Friday and I have to focus on studying for my certification test, lesson plan and just get ready for everything. I have never been this tired before in my life.

I have been so tired, I almost didn't make it to work this morning!

But then I pumped gas, and all was ok.

Today I was retweeted and it was awesome:

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Good hair day

I don't normally talk about my hair, but today I actually was having a good hair day! It does take some extra time to style it and flat iron it, but it's worth it.

My department chair and Jarod were both very surprised that I came in to work late. Well, late for me, I am always at work before 7 am and usually always beat everyone to work. But today, I kind of took my time and it felt great. I worked Sunday and I worked Monday, so coming in a little past my normal hours would be ok. I also got stuck at the mcdonalds drive thru for 20 min. They take forever, but it was worth it.

Today we read "From Rosa Parks" and attempted to work some short answer questions. I was trying to pace myself because in two class periods, I taught until the bell rang. I was like, "what? The bell? Already?"

I was thinking, I can't possibly be making many awesome posts. Yes, every class I gain something new that I use for the following class and the kids seem to have understood what I was talking about. Not sure how I let the time passby.

Oh and today we got school supplies! Oh happy day!

And also this...

I walked 18 miles? Wow, no wonder I am so tired.

Monday, September 01, 2014

Just a little bit

I had written an entire rant about how stressed I have felt lately, but I deleted it. I know no one reads my blog, but it's probably best I don't put my feelings out on the internet.

Today I worked and got a lot done. I still have some training I have to do. I actually tried to work on training, but the website stated it has to be done through a PC and not an iPad or iPhone. How rude. Who uses PCs now adays?

I am glad this week is short. I need to go forth full gear and start studying for my test again. As long as no one reminds me about the test, and leaves me alone to study, I won't break into tears. The stress is beyond anything I have felt before. Tired just thinking about it. Must sleep, 7:45 meeting tomorrow.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Word of the week is...

So so tired.
I am so tired that I forced myself out of bed today.
I slept about 8 hours.
I am so tired.
What's wrong with me?
I was up bright and early everyday in the summer. I did awesome and exciting things and tired. So drained. So not full of energy.
Yesterday, by 7th period, my feet were killing me and all I wanted to do was to sit down, but I didn't for fear any of my bosses would walk in for an observation.
It would be like, "crap, crap...crap. Three days into the first of the school year and I already have a bad observation."
I am glad my smartboard wasn't responding when I was trying to click my power point slides, because It gave me a chance to leaned my knee on my chair as I lectured.
Thank God for some support.
But then, the painful walk outside after school for bus duty had to be done. I am so glad there was no comfortable chair out there because I would have sat there, never to get up again.
My boss, the principal, surprised me from behind, asking me how my week had been. I tried to keep a big smile on my face. I was honest with him. I told him I had had a good week. And in all honesty, I did. I was just, yep, you guessed it, so tired. 
My body had no energy and I felt so drained.
I know, I sound like I am 100 years old.
I even went for some Starbucks this morning, but was tired and didn't stay the usual time I stay.
This was my first time since my birthday that I had set foot there. They have been short staffed in the morning and they have been closing the lobby and I didn't want to wait.
I did have a cup of coffee, argued with a barista about their refill policy and then left. I didn't argue, like scream or yell. I just don't approve of baristas who don't take the time to read up on their refill policy. I don't understand why they would rather argue with a customer, instead of just agreeing with them. Specially with me, because he knew I was right. Oh well.
I am so tired.
And thinking about everything I have to do tomorrow, makes me more tired.
I have to do some data reports, lesson planning and something else I can't remember because I am tired.
I did manage to sort out and label all my students with accommodations on a big binder and highlighted important information, but then I fell asleep for hours.
Then I was hungry and went to Whataburger, where this happened:

I texted my sister what happened. All I wanted was extra tomatoes.

I also took my car for a much needed car wash. She got the super soaker special.

I also tried to go re-sign my lease, because I got a letter stating my lease had expired. Which is stupid of them, because I went to talk to them on several occasions this summer about my lease.

My rent is going up! So glad and happy about it. NOT! I like Midland, I enjoy working here, but I hate the housing situation. I hate that everything costs and arm and a leg. I would be ok paying $800 a month for an efficiency, if it were actually a well kept, semi new apartment. This place is old, looks like it's falling apart and I don't even have a door between my bedroom and the living room. Just wrong.
Ok, time to go back to sleep. If I want to have a relaxing Monday off, I have to finish everything tomorrow because we have to turn in work Monday by 8 am. Boooooooo #tired

Thursday, August 28, 2014

My brain...

It aches, a lot.
My feet and ankles and entire body ache.
I had forgotten how much the body hurts the first days of school. I am in bed right now and afraid to get up. My body is in full alert. If I move, shields go up - pain, go away.

Today I felt like a broken record.
I talked to every single class about emergency procedures, we practiced the fire drill, took them outside and then I did my lesson on hooks.

I feel satisfied, knowing that what I taught today, the kids understood. I wasn't nervous, well, I take that back - I wasn't too nervous. Not as much as last year. 

To break the cycle of doing the exact same thing and to spear my coteacher the same lesson every period, I spiced it up a bit. I would say "good morning!" To the kids in the afternoon classes and they in turn would do a double take, wondering what the heck I was doing.

I liked the class participation and I even checked for understanding when I did my "make a date" activity. I was happy the kids followed my instructions and did what they were told.

I am satisfied with today.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

There's nothing in this world...

...I would rather do than sleep, but I can't. My entire body is aching. My feet hurt, and I know I will be sore tomorrow morning. My fitbit was like, "oh look, just 2,000 more steps and you complete your daily goal." I was like, screw you, I am tired! Lol

I went to school super early today. I was nervous and excited and had the butterflies in my stomach. Then I remembered last year, I was scared, Probably more scared than the students. But this year I wasn't as nervous. I knew what to expect and as odd and weird as this may sound, it felt normal. I picked up things just as if it was last year. The only difference were the students.

We also got encouraging texts and emails from my department chair.


I made sure my power point was ready to go. The day went by fast, but it was busy. I was so exhausted by the end of the day. I can't think of anything else but sleep. I am so tired.

My certification mentor is awesome.

Oh, and I am in today's newspaper!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

This I promise you

Today was a busy day at work. I made sure my room was decorated, fixed my desks, move stuff around and walk around like a crazy lady just trying to make sure everything be ready for tomorrow.

But really, my day started off at Starbucks for a quiet morning birthday breakfast.

Today was crazy busy, I forgot my birthday was today. But my boss sent out a reminder to everyone.

I do have an awesome principal. 

This is cool, 8:26 am at 8/26.

I also decorated my door. Not lame after all!

And made my bathroom passes for the kids.

PTA provided lunch for us today. It was yummy.

After work, I took myself to eat dinner. I had an amazing family birthday celebration this weekend, but somehow, my actual birthday...was lonely. I spent the day in fast forward, trying to make sure everything was ready for tomorrow, I had people at work wish me a happy birthday. Jarod even gave me a pack of posters for me to hang in my room as a birthday present. That was cool.

But once I was sitting there, alone and eating my soup, a table of 15 was sitting next to me and they too were celebrating a birthday. I couldn't help but just get a little sad.

But I ate and took a lot of food home. Lots of leftovers for lunch tomorrow!

The server even gave me this deliciousness for free! I told her it was my birthday. Maybe she felt bad for me because I was eating alone.

But the best part of my dinner was the phone call I got from my niece and nephew. I love them so much and it made my day better.

The both talked to me about their first day of school.



Time to rest and be ready for tomorrow!

Good workout today.